Vacation

I am supposed to be painting something fabulous for the art show but it was not going well so I thought I'd take a break. There is many things I should be doing like going through mail, laundry and all the stuff that you have to do after a trip. As I sat looking at the blank canvas and thinking about what to do with it I remembered Laura. I worked with her at Lilly's, the posh eatery on Bardstown road. She is an artist and called work to tell us know she could not work that day because she was too inspired and needed to stay home and paint. I however will have to wait.

Laura was a unique human. Not a people person really. If you have been to Lilly's you know the booth by the front door. A cozy dark table off to the side of the bar. She worked as our hostess and took two ladies to the table. They asked "Can we sit by the window?" Laura, perpetually annoyed, looked twelve feet up to the ceiling at the tiny transom above their heads and pointed "There's a window..." She said before walking away. I think the server relocated them to a nicer table and we never worked with Laura again. She had a "guest appearance” in our lives and poof she was gone. Yet I thought about her and still have nothing to paint about.

To have gone away and relaxed by the beach at one of the most romantic places on the planet was divine. The Don CeSar Beach Resort is a beautiful place to dwell. The lobby bar is home to a grand piano that at night is brought to life with songs like "Someone to watch over me", "Moonlight serenade" and "I'll be seeing you". The music quietly evokes the casual glamour of the 1930's. Years before my time but timeless. It is as though time stopped and when you walk in the doors (held open for you by the doorman) you become a movie star. I can almost feel my white dinner jacket and smell my gardenia boutonniere. The hotel pours Vouve Clicouque by the glass and serves it with fresh strawberries as the piano sings its hypnotic melodies. Try, just try, not to fall in love there.

My mind is still there. I am afraid to do anything that may chase away the ghosts of the weekend. It is so easy to lay down the crosses of real life when you get away. All the cares of the world seemed to melt away. Even my extra pounds acquired at the holidays seemed to look good with a tan. I did watch the yoga class from a safe distance across the pool and down the beach. I convinced myself it looked too dangerous. I'm sure many people are injured doing yoga on the beach. I stayed safely on the lounge chair and reached above my head to erect the tiny flag bolted to the chair that requested bar service. It's a work out if you do it three times a day for a week. I did pass through the gym, on my way to the spa for a massage. I'm sure that is a death- trap.

During the rain we went to see the movie "Phantom of the Opera" Wow! See it on the big screen. I have friends that think musicals are stupid. "Who does that, sing all the time?" they asked after walking out of "Evita". So when I'm in their company I look for reasons to bust out in song, just to illustrate how great it would be to live in a musical. I helped Julie put leftovers away one night after dinner and sang the Tupperware jingle "We know how to do things, a million and two things for locking in freshness!" I have never been in a situation that I could not think of a song that seemed appropriate. Like now, I'm singing "Make the world go away".

The songs are like tiny vacations in my head. Or a celebration depending on the situation. Not sure how people do not get that. Try it sometime. If a crazy hostess seats you at a bad table and you want a window seat, stand up, take her hand and sing "A new life. what I wouldn't give to have a new life..." You might get a free appetizer. Or asked to leave.

The real world does sneak in on us and pulls us home form a beautiful, musical vacation by the sea. Things like the Presidential inauguration and all the money spent on that could help the victims of the tsunami. Or cure a disease and pay for the war. A new season of American idol, "OK not everyone should sing". Looking for a job so that when I do become inspired again I'll have someone to 'call- in' to. I'm not ready yet. But as soon as my head gets back from the Don CeSar I'm sure I'll have something to paint about. Just not yet. Still nothing. "Guess what song I'm thinking of now..."

Identity Reclamations

I think I've reclaimed my identity. I can not think of another call to make. I changed, closed and secured everything I could think of. I looked under the bed, in the attic and all is clear. Thats how this makes you feel. Like someone is watching. Now I get on with what I still have of my life. Be that what it may.

Christmas was a beautiful white Courier and Ives, kinda thing. Full of friends and their dogs. We shoveled snow and ice and I even went sledding for the first time in about fifteen years. Angie and I walked the dogs to our favorite park and found it brimming with kids and adults swishing by as our dogs chased their sleds down the hills of George Rogers Clark Park. At the top of the hill, they had a fire and hot cocoa in bud lite cans. OK, maybe it was beer, but in my minds eye it was cocoa and Perry Como and Bing Crosby sang Christmas songs while wearing black top hats festooned with sprigs of holly.

We were invited to have a go. Although not a sleigh proper, the rubber-made garbage can lid did a fine job. I laughed so hard and loud, Like a kid. I loved it! It felt like Christmas should. The unlikelyness of that much fun was a huge gift to my spirit. I loved it so much that I took another friend later that week. Only it was sixty degrees by then and the icy looge was now a wet snow cone with grass in it. Still fun, all the same.

My brother and Barkley where at my house during the week of Christmas. And like a good host I fed them and myself very well. Pancakes for breakfast, treats all the time between meals. "Hurry up and eat your breakfast 'cause lunch is almost ready!" So much food all the time. I could not stop. The candy is addictive. I took the remains to a New Years party and ate most of it myself. Me and my hosts standard poodle. I kept going back for more and suddenly the large platter of happiness clustered with peanuts and dipped in chocolate was empty. Imagine my HORROR! Like a junkie I asked people "did you eat all that candy?". Then I saw the dog at the back door begging to go out.

Ultimately he did me a favor. My pants already feel snug. Not "I should have on other underwear" snug, I mean "I've got sofa cushions in my pockets" snug. Yet, I sit here and covet thy chocolate.

The holidays are over and so far 2005 is not looking like the best of years. Weather by Edgar Allen Poe, My credit card fraud and identity theft. My weight gain and one of the art pieces I did for Christmas will not fit in a car to get it shipped to Chicago. Cesar ran over a pot hole and ruined two tires on his car. Lisa is in town and said that she, at four am January first 2005 caught her boyfriend or date or this guy she was with at the party in the bathroom with another girl. Lets just say they where not making resolutions. I think Lisa wins the 'pity me party'. Not that we want anyone to feel sorry for us, but that might be a good idea for a party. We could send tear stained invitations that read "No need to RSVP. Just show up if you really care."

And yet another friend has been taking antidepressants for a few years and Christmas and new job stress has taken it's toll. Not to mention that my friend just learned her Mom has cancer. She had a really bad day with her Mom who refuses to talk about the cancer. Her mother went so far as to suggest that if she wanted to talk about it she should talk to a therapist. My friend was so upset on the way home she had to pull over and cry. She did see the doctor. He increased her meds. I am told that within a half hour or so she felt much better about everything. We now call really stressful bad days a "Two pill day".

2005 is the year of the Rooster according to the Chinese ca lander. It begins on February 9. My birth year (unknown due to identity theft) is indeed that of the Rooster. So I hope that means things will get better around Valentines day. I will start this all over then. From a padded room in the weight watchers wing of the Betty Ford clinic.

Identity Theft

OOPS! I just had the most lovely conversation with my citi card credit card people. I called to negotiate the interest on my account and was told about three purchases I'd made at Office Max in California. About three thousand dollars. Odd though, I have not been to California this month, yet. So, I am either a "Sleep-traveling shopaholic" or a victim of credit card fraud. It may include a tiny bit of identity theft come to find out that they have access to my computer. The way they got me was to send a very good earthlink or Internet provider email. It asks to update your account. I would have questioned it but it was in conjunction to my monthly statement. Like a good Southern gentleman I was happy to oblige. The account is closed and I've done what I can. I will need to change some security codes and things on the computer.

This has been my first reality day of 2005. I worked on New Years eve and only joined friends at 11:55pm 2004. I was off for the next two days and relaxed and had a lovely weekend. I must say I'm unsure what to do with this info. I have gone from panic to fear. I will receive an affidavit in the mail to record any unauthorized purchases and receive credit. Change all pass codes on this machine and get back into the swing of things. If I where to do this I'd try for Paris Hiltons credit card not mine. This is the first time I've ever been glad to have a limited available credit because the last purchase on December 23, 2004 was declined for another $900.00 again at Office Max. And what’s so damn great about Office Max by the way, am I missing out? I feel like I'm on Gilligan’s Island. I got hit on the head by a coconut and now have an evil twin. I think something like that happened on that show to Ginger. And, the Howells where not millionaires at all. They where identity thieves that housed a lap top in the tiny transistor radio they had on the island. The "Howells" are really brother and sister and held captive the castaways as they took over their lives and amassed an Office Max fortune.

In my own defense (If I am myself) I am usually very careful about the credit card thing and think this could happen to anyone. Be in doubt! This is the latest and greatest method of getting your numbers and account info. According to Earthlink that does offer an email check system and all you have to do is log on and cut and paste and send and wait etc. Of coarse to do this you have to set up all kinds of codes and things that bore us all the tears. I also find this to be interesting that I'm trying to define myself and find a career I love as someone tries to take my identity. I wish them luck and offer this information, (I can only assume they will see this email, kinda spooky.) Think less Office Max and More Neiman Marcus.

As this saga un folds I hope to keep a good attitude about all this. The holidays where good for my spirit and soul and I will tap into that account of positive energy as needed. If I (the nice twin) can find the account. It seems the thieves have changed the billing address for my account to Apartment B in California. That’s all I was told. I wonder if they send police to the billing address. My guess is not.

Anyway, the art I did for Christmas was well received and the time to create the gifts was to the truest expression of Christmas I've known. so, I'll have that happy thought in my head as I peruse the aisles of our local Office Max. It must be fabulous!