Identity Reclamations
I think I've reclaimed my identity. I can not think of another call to make. I changed, closed and secured everything I could think of. I looked under the bed, in the attic and all is clear. Thats how this makes you feel. Like someone is watching. Now I get on with what I still have of my life. Be that what it may.
Christmas was a beautiful white Courier and Ives, kinda thing. Full of friends and their dogs. We shoveled snow and ice and I even went sledding for the first time in about fifteen years. Angie and I walked the dogs to our favorite park and found it brimming with kids and adults swishing by as our dogs chased their sleds down the hills of George Rogers Clark Park. At the top of the hill, they had a fire and hot cocoa in bud lite cans. OK, maybe it was beer, but in my minds eye it was cocoa and Perry Como and Bing Crosby sang Christmas songs while wearing black top hats festooned with sprigs of holly.
We were invited to have a go. Although not a sleigh proper, the rubber-made garbage can lid did a fine job. I laughed so hard and loud, Like a kid. I loved it! It felt like Christmas should. The unlikelyness of that much fun was a huge gift to my spirit. I loved it so much that I took another friend later that week. Only it was sixty degrees by then and the icy looge was now a wet snow cone with grass in it. Still fun, all the same.
My brother and Barkley where at my house during the week of Christmas. And like a good host I fed them and myself very well. Pancakes for breakfast, treats all the time between meals. "Hurry up and eat your breakfast 'cause lunch is almost ready!" So much food all the time. I could not stop. The candy is addictive. I took the remains to a New Years party and ate most of it myself. Me and my hosts standard poodle. I kept going back for more and suddenly the large platter of happiness clustered with peanuts and dipped in chocolate was empty. Imagine my HORROR! Like a junkie I asked people "did you eat all that candy?". Then I saw the dog at the back door begging to go out.
Ultimately he did me a favor. My pants already feel snug. Not "I should have on other underwear" snug, I mean "I've got sofa cushions in my pockets" snug. Yet, I sit here and covet thy chocolate.
The holidays are over and so far 2005 is not looking like the best of years. Weather by Edgar Allen Poe, My credit card fraud and identity theft. My weight gain and one of the art pieces I did for Christmas will not fit in a car to get it shipped to Chicago. Cesar ran over a pot hole and ruined two tires on his car. Lisa is in town and said that she, at four am January first 2005 caught her boyfriend or date or this guy she was with at the party in the bathroom with another girl. Lets just say they where not making resolutions. I think Lisa wins the 'pity me party'. Not that we want anyone to feel sorry for us, but that might be a good idea for a party. We could send tear stained invitations that read "No need to RSVP. Just show up if you really care."
And yet another friend has been taking antidepressants for a few years and Christmas and new job stress has taken it's toll. Not to mention that my friend just learned her Mom has cancer. She had a really bad day with her Mom who refuses to talk about the cancer. Her mother went so far as to suggest that if she wanted to talk about it she should talk to a therapist. My friend was so upset on the way home she had to pull over and cry. She did see the doctor. He increased her meds. I am told that within a half hour or so she felt much better about everything. We now call really stressful bad days a "Two pill day".
2005 is the year of the Rooster according to the Chinese ca lander. It begins on February 9. My birth year (unknown due to identity theft) is indeed that of the Rooster. So I hope that means things will get better around Valentines day. I will start this all over then. From a padded room in the weight watchers wing of the Betty Ford clinic.
Christmas was a beautiful white Courier and Ives, kinda thing. Full of friends and their dogs. We shoveled snow and ice and I even went sledding for the first time in about fifteen years. Angie and I walked the dogs to our favorite park and found it brimming with kids and adults swishing by as our dogs chased their sleds down the hills of George Rogers Clark Park. At the top of the hill, they had a fire and hot cocoa in bud lite cans. OK, maybe it was beer, but in my minds eye it was cocoa and Perry Como and Bing Crosby sang Christmas songs while wearing black top hats festooned with sprigs of holly.
We were invited to have a go. Although not a sleigh proper, the rubber-made garbage can lid did a fine job. I laughed so hard and loud, Like a kid. I loved it! It felt like Christmas should. The unlikelyness of that much fun was a huge gift to my spirit. I loved it so much that I took another friend later that week. Only it was sixty degrees by then and the icy looge was now a wet snow cone with grass in it. Still fun, all the same.
My brother and Barkley where at my house during the week of Christmas. And like a good host I fed them and myself very well. Pancakes for breakfast, treats all the time between meals. "Hurry up and eat your breakfast 'cause lunch is almost ready!" So much food all the time. I could not stop. The candy is addictive. I took the remains to a New Years party and ate most of it myself. Me and my hosts standard poodle. I kept going back for more and suddenly the large platter of happiness clustered with peanuts and dipped in chocolate was empty. Imagine my HORROR! Like a junkie I asked people "did you eat all that candy?". Then I saw the dog at the back door begging to go out.
Ultimately he did me a favor. My pants already feel snug. Not "I should have on other underwear" snug, I mean "I've got sofa cushions in my pockets" snug. Yet, I sit here and covet thy chocolate.
The holidays are over and so far 2005 is not looking like the best of years. Weather by Edgar Allen Poe, My credit card fraud and identity theft. My weight gain and one of the art pieces I did for Christmas will not fit in a car to get it shipped to Chicago. Cesar ran over a pot hole and ruined two tires on his car. Lisa is in town and said that she, at four am January first 2005 caught her boyfriend or date or this guy she was with at the party in the bathroom with another girl. Lets just say they where not making resolutions. I think Lisa wins the 'pity me party'. Not that we want anyone to feel sorry for us, but that might be a good idea for a party. We could send tear stained invitations that read "No need to RSVP. Just show up if you really care."
And yet another friend has been taking antidepressants for a few years and Christmas and new job stress has taken it's toll. Not to mention that my friend just learned her Mom has cancer. She had a really bad day with her Mom who refuses to talk about the cancer. Her mother went so far as to suggest that if she wanted to talk about it she should talk to a therapist. My friend was so upset on the way home she had to pull over and cry. She did see the doctor. He increased her meds. I am told that within a half hour or so she felt much better about everything. We now call really stressful bad days a "Two pill day".
2005 is the year of the Rooster according to the Chinese ca lander. It begins on February 9. My birth year (unknown due to identity theft) is indeed that of the Rooster. So I hope that means things will get better around Valentines day. I will start this all over then. From a padded room in the weight watchers wing of the Betty Ford clinic.
posted by Leland at 1:45 PM
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