Dream
"Remember to dream, and dream big", I was told. "Think about what you want your life to be and plan to make it exactly that".
Suzi Orman told a woman on her show to turn down a job that paid a huge salary because it had nothing to do with her dream. "But, Suzi, I'm a waitress and the job pays 65,000 a year" she said. The twenty six year old woman had come to New York to become a shoe designer and had not realized the dream. The job was designing toys. Suzie asked her "Did you go to school, and move yourself to New York to design toys?" "No" she replied. The woman turned down the job and later got a job designing shoes. She was paid 23,000 a year and made less than she did as a waitress. She called Suzie again "I can barely get by" she explained. Suzi advised her to dedicate herself to the job no matter what. "If they say be here at nine, you come in at eight. If everyone goes home at five you stay until seven and do everything you can. Learn everything you can about this company and the business of designing shoes. You are living your dream, the money will follow. And, don't ask for a raise." The caller did practice Suzi's method and was promoted and compensated.
As for me, I'm still a waiter. "HELLO DESTINY! I"M OVER HERE!!!" One can grow tired of dreaming. I did for a while. After trying things that did not work out, dreaming seemed like an old tool that has no clear purpose. You dream smaller, just to see results.
Oh, to dream. I dream that my furnace is not possessed by Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, the DVD player works, and the oven has actual temperatures not just on and off. And, still the dream of a beautifully tiled bathroom. I've made calls to all the professionals to fix and repair my broken dreams, I mean appliances. All that and it seems a black out occurred in my house. Most of the light bulbs blinked out over a three day period. The expensive under cabinet lights and the desk lamp bulb. The Vanity lights and a few other lamps. Some of the bulbs are seven dollars apiece. In line at Lowe's, paying $58.32 for light bulbs, I had dejavu. This reminds me of my Ex. This was years ago, and before I knew what was going on. I'd come home and 'try' to turn on a lamp. Only to find the bulb was not burned out it was gone! This went on for months.
No telling how many bulbs I bought during that relationship only to find out that they make an excellent pipe to smoke crystal methamphetamine. Especially the large round five dollar bulbs in the bathroom vanity. "Why are the light bulbs missing everywhere?" I asked him. "They burned out. I think your house has electrical surges and it blows the lights" He said. I hired an electrician to check it out. The house was fine. Then one day while vacuuming out the air vent in the bedroom, yes I do that, I sucked up a LIGHT BULB with burn marks on the bottom. And a tiny sack of white powder. Mystery solved. He was using the light bulbs to smoke drugs. That’s when it got uglier. The fights came to blows, anger became hate, dreams became delusions. Buried under hurt feelings of powerlessness was a dream of a happier life. A life I'd have to fight for in my own home.
It took Greg's kindness and love to give that dream new life. He inspired me to dream again. Fight if necessary. And win. Victory is hard to define. Greg died the same week I reclaimed my home for my new life. He is an angel that came into my life, whose wings gave me courage I didn't know I had. It takes courage to dream and at times more than you think you have. Again someone I love has reminded me to dream. Dreaming can shine so much light on what you want something to be that the reality looks shady. That’s the scary part of dreaming. The challenge to make changes and tough choices is not easy. Nor was divorcing a drug addict or loosing a kind lover.
It was in line at Lowe's that my three year history and another 29th birthday soon to pass, gave ease to my impatience with dreaming of finding a career. The slow cashier gave me time to pause. I looked at where I've been. Not so much the electrical department, but, the lives I have lived. I too have heeded the wise words of Suzi Orman. Only for me it is less about career. Although I do dream of finding a career I feel that passionate about. I'll find it soon enough, when the balance of courage and dreaming meet with opportunity. Hopefully before yet another 29th Birthday. Knowing that I have created a happy life without it feels great. To share my life with someone that encourages me to dream and dreams with me was worth fighting for. I think I applied some of that courage and work ethic to creating a peaceful life. A safe place to dream. It reminded me that dreaming is a useful tool; it is used to build reality.
When the cashier told me the total I said "I can not believe I spent that much on light bulbs!" She shrugged and said "It adds up." I agree it does add up.
Suzi Orman told a woman on her show to turn down a job that paid a huge salary because it had nothing to do with her dream. "But, Suzi, I'm a waitress and the job pays 65,000 a year" she said. The twenty six year old woman had come to New York to become a shoe designer and had not realized the dream. The job was designing toys. Suzie asked her "Did you go to school, and move yourself to New York to design toys?" "No" she replied. The woman turned down the job and later got a job designing shoes. She was paid 23,000 a year and made less than she did as a waitress. She called Suzie again "I can barely get by" she explained. Suzi advised her to dedicate herself to the job no matter what. "If they say be here at nine, you come in at eight. If everyone goes home at five you stay until seven and do everything you can. Learn everything you can about this company and the business of designing shoes. You are living your dream, the money will follow. And, don't ask for a raise." The caller did practice Suzi's method and was promoted and compensated.
As for me, I'm still a waiter. "HELLO DESTINY! I"M OVER HERE!!!" One can grow tired of dreaming. I did for a while. After trying things that did not work out, dreaming seemed like an old tool that has no clear purpose. You dream smaller, just to see results.
Oh, to dream. I dream that my furnace is not possessed by Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, the DVD player works, and the oven has actual temperatures not just on and off. And, still the dream of a beautifully tiled bathroom. I've made calls to all the professionals to fix and repair my broken dreams, I mean appliances. All that and it seems a black out occurred in my house. Most of the light bulbs blinked out over a three day period. The expensive under cabinet lights and the desk lamp bulb. The Vanity lights and a few other lamps. Some of the bulbs are seven dollars apiece. In line at Lowe's, paying $58.32 for light bulbs, I had dejavu. This reminds me of my Ex. This was years ago, and before I knew what was going on. I'd come home and 'try' to turn on a lamp. Only to find the bulb was not burned out it was gone! This went on for months.
No telling how many bulbs I bought during that relationship only to find out that they make an excellent pipe to smoke crystal methamphetamine. Especially the large round five dollar bulbs in the bathroom vanity. "Why are the light bulbs missing everywhere?" I asked him. "They burned out. I think your house has electrical surges and it blows the lights" He said. I hired an electrician to check it out. The house was fine. Then one day while vacuuming out the air vent in the bedroom, yes I do that, I sucked up a LIGHT BULB with burn marks on the bottom. And a tiny sack of white powder. Mystery solved. He was using the light bulbs to smoke drugs. That’s when it got uglier. The fights came to blows, anger became hate, dreams became delusions. Buried under hurt feelings of powerlessness was a dream of a happier life. A life I'd have to fight for in my own home.
It took Greg's kindness and love to give that dream new life. He inspired me to dream again. Fight if necessary. And win. Victory is hard to define. Greg died the same week I reclaimed my home for my new life. He is an angel that came into my life, whose wings gave me courage I didn't know I had. It takes courage to dream and at times more than you think you have. Again someone I love has reminded me to dream. Dreaming can shine so much light on what you want something to be that the reality looks shady. That’s the scary part of dreaming. The challenge to make changes and tough choices is not easy. Nor was divorcing a drug addict or loosing a kind lover.
It was in line at Lowe's that my three year history and another 29th birthday soon to pass, gave ease to my impatience with dreaming of finding a career. The slow cashier gave me time to pause. I looked at where I've been. Not so much the electrical department, but, the lives I have lived. I too have heeded the wise words of Suzi Orman. Only for me it is less about career. Although I do dream of finding a career I feel that passionate about. I'll find it soon enough, when the balance of courage and dreaming meet with opportunity. Hopefully before yet another 29th Birthday. Knowing that I have created a happy life without it feels great. To share my life with someone that encourages me to dream and dreams with me was worth fighting for. I think I applied some of that courage and work ethic to creating a peaceful life. A safe place to dream. It reminded me that dreaming is a useful tool; it is used to build reality.
When the cashier told me the total I said "I can not believe I spent that much on light bulbs!" She shrugged and said "It adds up." I agree it does add up.
posted by Leland at 3:14 PM
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