Kool-Aid

Growing up gay, I learned of gender specific identities. I was never confused about myself. I was confused by people telling me to play foot ball with Scott when I wanted to play beauty shop with his sister. I didn’t understand why gender defined what games I should play.
My continued interest in gender roles, in a world of Ryan Seacrest and Jamie Lee Curtis, took me to a medical discussion about intersex births. The speaker said “Think of gender like a rainbow, with more than two colors”. One of 1500 births are intersex, a variety of conditions in which a person is born with an anatomy that does not fit the typical definition of boy or girl. It goes way beyond the X and Y chromosomes.
What games do they play? Once considered a birth defect the undetermined gender was assigned. The children were surgically altered to appear as girls, because it was easier. The nurture over nature theory did not work. Once shrouded in secrecy and shame and now with adult voices, science is forced to listen.
So to understand the social importance of gender being clearly defined I read the Christian book “Wild at heart” by John Eldredge. The book suggests that men are born to fight a battle, live an adventure and rescue a beauty. Boys are wild warriors seeking masculine nurturing to initiate us into manhood. We become fearless warriors fighting evil on earth and making love to only our wives, or we become ‘nice guys’. If not ushered into our warrior selves we become prone to porn, addictions and homosexuality. It took 150 pages but he got there.
To only seek information that agrees with what I already believe is not my style. I like to challenge my convictions and dared John Eldredge to make me drink his Kool-Aid. The book implies that gender is defined by God and born in our hearts. To vary is evil. Science has proved gender is more than our bodies. Both ask the same question. What is in your heart?
What belief system governs the rules of gender? Is it divine or is it ego? God might be telling us something. Are we ‘man’ enough to listen? As a boy I played the games I liked. I tried camping and fishing but preferred styling my parents dinner parties. If we are to bear the image of God it is in our heart, not our pants. Does it matter what games we play if we hear God’s voice?