It's not what you're eating...

Everyone I know is on weight watchers or getting out of rehab. It is affecting my social life. I now keep a measuring cup in the bar for my friends to measure 4 ounces of wine. Some go through the process five times during dinner, thus the rehab. The party ends when they run out of points.
The concept is working. My friend Julie has lost forty pounds twice. She had two kids and faster than you can weigh six ounces of chicken she lost the weight. She always thought she was big boned and hated the song about the girl from southern Alberta. Alas she is now a willowy ballerina from southern Indiana.
I’m not working the program but have become well versed on the subject of flex points and my own relationship to food. Sixty pounds ago I was sitting in the bath tub watching TV and eating German chocolate cake. I was in an unsuccessful relationship and convinced myself that food was love. I ate my way to happiness, and a 36 inch waist. I had been a cyclist for years and parked the bike to focus on the relationship. I wonder if my friends talk about that kind of thing during their meetings.
Remember Susan Powter. She said “it’s not what you're eating it’s what’s eating you” and “Stop the insanity!” I wasn’t thinking of her when I got single again and started walking my dog twice a day, but her mantra did apply. I was thinking these thoughts while at dinner with six weight watchers of eight people. I zoned out of the point talk and remembered my quiet triumphant story.
As each pound went away I could feel my life again. Not because I felt sexier, although I did, or looked healthier. It was like loosing touch with an old and good friend and then seeing them again and realizing how much you missed them. Only it was me I missed. It feels great to be out of the tub, being with people I enjoy until they run out of points, and I wish each of them a joyful reunion with what they find inside.

Stick it to em!

On my way to work I found myself behind a car with bumper stickers. One read “Gun control means use two hands” another read “Vietnam Vets against John Kerry” and a “Hang up and drive” and more. The car was a Ford Contour, and I wondered if I’ll ever see that set of stickers on an electric hybrid.
It seems safe to say that the driver is a republican, enjoys hunting with his sons and served in the military. I thought it out of character. Most of the conservative tail light philosophy I’ve read is about honor role students, a political candidate or pro-life. The larger displays I expect it from more liberal drivers. Clever phrases about saving trees, earth, animals and beating up the honor role students I expect from members of PETA not the NRA.
To me bumper stickers are like fringe on rugs; unpredictable, unnecessary clutter. I’ve just not seen one that spoke to my agenda. My friend stopped smoking and elected nicotine suckers to satiate her desire to smoke. Health insurance does not pay for her suckers. I think it should. One conspiracy theory is that smokers get sick and die. To the business of health care smokers are good financial risks. If she stops smoking she might start jogging with one of the suckers in her mouth and break a hip.
I saw a woman in a restaurant remove her oxygen tube and smoke. If she has a bumper sticker that reads “I brake for butts!” I believe her. I have to question how much conviction is in front of the bumper. I’d like to ask the man in the Ford if by ‘gun control’ he means no government regulations. I’d like to think that if my neighbor wants a gun to protect his family that well informed people agree he is happy and healthy enough to bare arms. And that it was not the voices in his head that told him to buy a gun. Although, many children get killed with the guns intended to protect them. You might as well let them jog with a nicotine suckers in their mouth.
I’m not picking on the man in the Ford. I ask the same of any bumper sticker activist “Do you do what is behind you?” I agree with “Hang up and drive”. Unless you’re a doctor you do not need to be on the phone while driving.
I have no bumper stickers and mean it!